Interview by Mary Mckeone
THE WILLINGNESS TO SERVE
Mark Anfilogoff was a latecomer to Insight seminars. Although, on the fringes of Insight for many years [his wife was involved,] he was resistant to taking the seminar. An engineer by profession and now a technology consultant, he strikes me as a man who wants to get things done and can, sometimes, feel impatient with introspection. Yet, once he jumped there was no stopping him. Between 2015 and 2016, he did Insight I, II, III, and IV. To do four seminars in twelve months is no mean feat given that Insight IV was held in Chile which meant taking a month off work. Since June 2015, he has assisted in, almost, every seminar there has been in the UK.
So why the turnaround? He says tongue in cheek and with a chuckle, it was his wife’s persistent drip feed encouragement which got him in the end. Whilst that might be partly true of Insight I, he accepts it is not the whole story why he did three further seminars in quick succession. Insight I was, he says, a positive experience where he met interesting people. But it did not have, for him, the WOW factor some speak of. It must, though, have had an impact because at the end of the seminar, having formed a bond with three others they all decided to sign up for Insight II, a few months later. He enjoyed Insight II, and again, found it good fun despite having its challenging moments. Mark describes himself ‘as not much of a talker.’ But after doing Insight I and II, he became aware of a gradual opening up from within which continued when, the following month, he and his wife did Insight III together, in Bulgaria. This, he says was his ‘ah, ha,’ moment: the seminar which made the difference.
No doubt building on the previous two seminars, taking part with his wife, and being in the mountains with snow still on the ground which gave it something of a holiday feel, added to his overall experience. But the real difference, he says, was learning about and practising neutrality. This is the premise on which Insight III is based and it gave him a new and exciting perspective. Neutrality, contrary to what many people think, is not passive but rather active engagement without attachment to outcome. It is also about being non-judgemental. Neutrality implies tolerance. Mark found that viewing events, people, or situations from that higher perspective shifted his perceptions and helped him communicate on a deeper level with others. He, also, found he was better able to overcome his familiar tendency to drift back to old stuck patterns. But the quality of his relationships and his improved communication skills were not confined to his personal life. Significant changes began to occur, for the better, in his professional life. As a Technology Consultant, he specialises in aligning people with technology and inviting them to think and work differently so that better outcomes can be delivered within an organisation. Confidence, clarity, receptivity, and the ability to communicate are all necessary skills Mark has. Since the seminar, he has discovered that when he adopts a neutral position in the workplace his communications are, undeniably, more effective.
After Insight III, Mark was hooked. He was determined to do Insight IV in Chile in January 2016, only a year after he did his first Insight I. The tables, too, had turned. He, now, found he was the one persuading his wife. ‘If not now, when?’ became his rallying cry, adamant he wanted the benefit now, rather than in two years’ time. Neither Chile, nor Insight IV disappointed. Remembering his time there, the joy he experienced is evident in his voice. ‘It was an amazing experience. The warmth of the reception we got from the South American Insight community was fabulous. Although it was winter in the UK, there it was summer. We stayed in the centre of Santiago and even had an apricot tree in our garden. The seminar was fascinating, a key aspect of which was [to realise more] how you present in the world and giving you tools to expand on that. We were part of a team for a month. It is not often people get the opportunity to focus for that much time on themselves. It really made a difference in bringing greater awareness to the truth of who I am.’ Since then, he and his wife, have not only assisted regularly in the UK and continue to play a major part in providing support for the organisation, but have gone twice to Chile to assist on Insight IV. Feeling now, very much part of the community there, they hope to assist again at some point as and when coronavirus permits.
Mark sees himself as ‘a work in progress.’ His continued involvement in Insight is because for him the organisation, ‘is a bit special’ and at a time when there is so much division in the world, Insight’s aim ‘to assist in transforming ourselves into loving so that the greater transformation of the planet to loving will take place,’ is, he believes, even, more important. He also thinks Insight has played a valuable role during this global pandemic by offering free workshops which bring people together from all over the world in a shared experience. Under what might sometimes be considered a slightly brusque exterior, he is obviously a sensitive man who wants to make the world a better place and, in the process, get things done through his willingness to serve.
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